The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
