so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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