I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Randomize
