it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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