I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
