just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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