in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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