so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
