I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
