I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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