so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
