I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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