talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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