My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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