Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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