I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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