They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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