i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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