ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
being pregnant is like rehab
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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