I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
