can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
