It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
