the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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