Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
