we have pet lesbian snakes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
