she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Are my feet made of real feet?
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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