I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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