After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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