Ambien. No doubt about it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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