Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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