Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
porn star boner night. come get it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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