i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize