She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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