i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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