I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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