Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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