My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
