Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
