Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
