he was CRYING into my vagina
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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