I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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