Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
