You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
