your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
