haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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