You're my little dorito
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
