her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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