I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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