ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
