To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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