he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize