I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
honey bunches of taint.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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