So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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