Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have post one night stand depression
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
