idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
