I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Everclear isn't food dammit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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