Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
