bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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