Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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