I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Your penis caused this!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
