thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
