So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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